


Forgiveness is a Privilege

by StrawberryLemonade_08



Series: Forgiveness is a Privilege [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies), 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Canon LGBTQ Character, Child Eren Yeager, College Student Eren Yeager, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Lemon, Light Angst, Love Triangles, Manga & Anime, Modern Era, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Older Eren Yeager, Romance, Slow Burn, Smoking, Smut, Some Reiner/Reader, Vaginal Sex, eren smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryLemonade_08/pseuds/StrawberryLemonade_08
Summary: It's been 4 years since your bad break up with Eren Jaeger and last time you saw him, but when you transfer to a top-tier university you find yourself in contact with him again and you realize you're not over him. He changed a lot from the last time you saw him, but does he remember you or feel the same way?
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Eren/Reader, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Niccolo, Zeke Yeager/Yelena
Series: Forgiveness is a Privilege [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183511
Comments: 23
Kudos: 57





	1. I saw you

**Author's Note:**

> Bold text= Memories  
> Regular text= Present time
> 
> I'm simping over Eren and I can't stop myself from writing this. First Chap kind of slow b/c I'm trying to actually develop plot.
> 
> Enjoy :)

_DING DING DING_

You stirred in your sleep, a low groan escaping your mouth as you reached over to your phone to turn off the annoying alarm ringing in your room. 

With one eye open you check the time on your phone: 7:50 AM. _Shit! It's late!_

You quickly hop out of bed and put on some comfy sweats and sweatshirt, knowing you needed to be in something more snug for a long drive. After running to the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth, you run down the steps towards the front door.

“Y/N!” exclaims your Dad, coming out of the driver's seat in the car and watches you run down the porch steps of your house. 

“I thought i was gonna have to run up there and drag you out of bed!” 

“Yeah yeah sorry Dad, I couldn’t really sleep last night” You confessed, short of breath and wheezing a bit. You lift up the trunk of the car and toss in your backpack, slamming down the hood a little too hard, looking at your reflection on the shiny car paint. 

“I’m still really nervous to be honest…” you muttered.

“You’ll be fine sweetheart.” A soft female voice said from the front porch and you turned around and smiled. Your mother walked down the porch steps and handed you a container with breakfast. She looked at you with a hint of tears in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you baby…”

You looked down at the container, choking a bit on your words, “Mom… thank you. But I’ll call regularly, so no need to be sentimental.”

She smiled warmly and gave you a hug. “Be careful Y/N. I love you.”

For your freshman year, you were enrolled in the small community college at your town, Shiganshina Community College. You didn’t really have the funds for an actual university, but thanks to your hard work and good grades, you were able to receive a scholarship to finish your studies at Eldia State University. It was top-tier, and it was known that only rich kids and highly intelligent were able to get in, the competition making it one of the best Universities in the region. 

You slipped into the passenger’s seat and buckled up as your Dad started the car, pulling out from the driveway. You waved to your Mom one last time and slumped back into the seat. 

Your dad drove to the end of the street, around 5 houses down, and a large luxurious home came into view, sitting right on the corner of the street. 

You looked up at it, the windows covered with black curtains from the inside, and sighed as you looked back down at the front yard of the lush house. It was full of overgrown weeds, the grass probably up to knees length, and the bushes lining the edges were thick with branches sticking out everywhere, beckoning for comfort that it was obviously lacking.

A few years back, this house was the envy of many around this small town and it was no mistake that the Jaeger family living in it were among the wealthiest families in the state. Grisha Jaeger was an exceptional doctor, and he was responsible for finding the cure of a deadly disease around 25 years ago, which made him filthy rich. He then fell in love with a patient and married the very beautiful woman, Carla. Afterwards, he successfully opened his own clinic in town.

You closed your eyes as a certain memory came into mind. 

~

**_It all happened in an instant, you were riding your bike and suddenly you were down on the concrete of the sidewalk, the impact hurt too much and you couldn’t stand. You started crying looking down at your scraped knee, blood oozing out of the broken skin, the bike laying next to you, mockingly._ **

**_“Are you okay?”_ **

**_You looked up at the sound, and you saw a little boy your age looking down at you, his teal green eyes full of concern, short brown hair swaying with the light breeze. When you didn't say anything, he stretched out his hand to you._ **

**_“Come on, I’ll help you,” he said._ **

**_You sniffed and took his hand and he helped you up, while you shifted your weight on your uninjured leg._ **

**_“Come inside my house, my dad is a doctor as you probably know, and he can help disinfect that.” he said, and pointed to the side._ **

**_You trailed your eyes to where he was pointing and your eyes widened a bit. You were so focused on the pain on your knee that you didn't notice that you had fallen on the sidewalk right in front of the affluent Jaeger residence._ **

**_“My name is Eren Jaeger. What’s your name?” he said, holding your elbow as you limped towards the house._ **

**_“Y/N L/N…” You replied quietly, wincing at the pain._ **

**_He helped you up the steps of the house and were greeted by a foyer with shiny marble floors, a spiral staircase winding up to the second floor on the side._ **

**_“Eren, is that you?” You turned as you watched a pretty woman come down the stairs, her dark hair pulled in a low ponytail draped across her shoulder. Her hazel eyes widened as she saw you and gasped._ **

**_“Oh my! What happened?” She exclaimed as she ran down the steps._ **

**_“I fell off my bike…” you said, and looked down, embarrassed._ **

**_“Grisha! Bring the first aid kit!” She yelled back and smiled back at you._ ** **_“You’ll be fine don’t worry child.”_ **

**_She looked back at Eren, grinning. “How nice of you Eren, to help out this pretty girl.”_ **

**_“Uh, yeah,” He said, his cheeks tinted a slight pink as he turned his head to the side._ **

**_In a moment, a dark haired man with circular glasses walked into the foyer, carrying a small box._ **

**_“Oh, what happened here? A small accident I see.” He said, as he crouched down in front of you and took out a large cotton bud and wet it with a clear liquid from a bottle._ **

**_“What’s your name?” He asked as he dabbed the cotton on your knee._ **

**_“Y/N” you said, wincing at the stinging sensation, tears forming in your eyes again._ **

**_“Hey, it’s okay,” Eren said, as he grabbed your hand again and gave it a light squeeze._ **

**_Grisha looked up at Eren and smiled. “You finally decide to be nice to someone, Eren. Maybe you can finally have a friend.”_ **

**_“Dad!” Eren quickly let go of your hand and turned away, huffing out and scowling slightly, his cheeks now a more prominent red._ **

**_You remembered seeing Eren at times during lunchtime at Shiganshina Elementary. You weren't in the same class, but he always seemed to be alone._ **

**_You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction to his dad’s comment, the pain on your knee seemed to disappear._ **

~

You fidgeted as you saw the first banner hung up on a lightpost reading Eldia State University. The city’s bright lights reflected perfectly on the green banner. You were used to the suburbs and the amount of honking cars was a bit overwhelming, but the nightlife itself was incredible. The ride here was a total of 9 hours, but looking at the city, they were worth it. 

“Well, Y/N, looks like we are here…” Your dad says, as he pulls the car in park, in front of a large building. 

You walk out of the car and look up at the 8 story building. This was one of the dorm buildings, one of the nicer ones, in fact, thanks to your scholarship. Instead of the traditional shared bedrooms, these dorms were suites, with bedrooms, kitchen and a small living room, it was like having a shared apartment. You remembered being so excited when you saw the dorm pamphlet back home. 

The building was also co-ed, and even though your dad was a bit against it, your mom thankfully talked him into letting you stay, saying that it would make a better college experience to have girls and guys as close friends. 

All of a sudden you felt tiny and you looked at the students walking in and out of the building. Girls in mini skirts walking in groups talking excitedly about some club. Guys walking out in groups talking loudly among themselves.

You gulped a bit and walked towards the trunk, your Dad helping you open it and pulled on your backpack and dragged out your large suitcase. 

“Well, have fun. Be safe and remember to call honey.” He said, embracing you and giving you a small pat on the back. You stayed a few minutes, saying goodbye and when you finally finished you dragged your luggage into the building and walked to the front desk. 

After receiving your key, you walked towards the elevator and pressed the call button. A _ding_ signaled the elevator's arrival and while the doors opened, you grab your suitcase and drag it inside. You press the button 8, and the elevator hums as it lifts you up. You smile excitedly, looking at yourself in the reflection of the elevator mirror. Not only did you get allocated the best dorm building, but you got the top floor with the best views. You couldn’t be happier. 

Upon arriving on your floor, you step out and try to drag the suitcase behind you. Unfortunately, one of the wheels gets caught at the gap and you tug on the handle without achieving to get it out. _What the hell!_ You step out of the elevator turn around to face the stubborn suitcase to give it another tug, but it doesn't budge. 

“You good? Need help?”

You turn around and see a young man looking at you, his blond hair cut short in an undercut. His aqua blue eyes darting from you and the suitcase. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I have no idea how it got stuck” You tell him.

He chuckled as he grabbed the handle and pulled it up with ease. 

“Here ya go.”

You smiled up at him. “Thanks.”

“My name’s Armin by the way. I’m a sophomore. Are you a freshman? I heard dorm accommodations were over and thought everyone was in already.”

“My name’s Y/N. And no, I’m actually a sophomore, but I just transferred in.”

“Ah, I see. What's your dorm number?” 

You looked down at your keycard. “817”

“Oh that's down the left hall, I actually know the other two girls living there,” He said. “I’m down the right hall on the opposite side,” he said pointing back towards his shoulder and smiled warmly. “Well, welcome to Eldia Uni, I hope we can continue to see each other and get along!” 

“Yeah! Thanks!” You smiled, turned your back to him and walked down the hall. You were about 6 rooms down the hall when you heard Armin speak again, although this time not to you. 

“Eren! Finally! You were taking forever man.” You heard Armin say. 

You froze upon hearing the name. _Eren?_

“Yeah, sorry Armin, you know how my stupid older brother gets when he’s calls me angry and shit.”

The deep voice sent shivers through your frozen body. 

“Hey, you know he actually really cares about you Eren, considering everything.”

“Doubt it, but whatever, Let’s go.” 

Coming back to your senses, you quickly turned around but it was too late, the elevator doors had already closed and you didn’t get a glimpse of this person. _Was this really him? Is he really here?_ You bit the inside of your cheek. _That’s… impossible! What were the chances of him going here too?_

Suddenly a realization came upon you. He said older brother? The Eren you knew didn’t have an older brother. He was an only child. 

“Ha…” You laughed out, shaking your head, relaxing. It’s not like the Eren you knew was the only one in the world. It could have been another completely different guy. It was just a weird coincidence that he had the same name as your ex highschool lover… 

~

“Hey sis! Welcome! I’m Historia!” 

The small framed blond looked at you, her large ocean eyes gleaming, and a wide grin on her face.

“Hello! We were told that we were getting a new roommate so make yourself at home! I’m Sasha Braus.” 

You looked at the brown haired girl, holding a ramen cup. 

“You want some ramen by the way?” She held up the cup, signaling to it. 

You smiled and shook your head, “It’s okay thank you. It’s nice to meet you two. I’m Y/N.”

You walked towards the living room, decorated with LED lights, and gasped. One of the walls was completely made of glass, from ceiling to floor, giving a spectacular view. The other buildings were gleaming with reflected lights, the Universities’ buildings dotting the campus. 

Historia came up next to you. “It’s amazing isn’t it? The view is just great!”

Sasha also walked towards you two. “You can see all the restaurants from here too!”

Historia laughed. “This girl literally only thinks about food.” She turned around and pointed down the hall of the suite. 

“Your room is the last one down the hall, Y/N. We cleaned it up for you after the girl before you moved out. She was a senior and graduated, which is why she left.”

“Ah, thanks!” You beamed and you felt warm inside, these girls were so sweet and nice. You went to the room, luggage and all, and plopped down on the bed exhaling loudly. The car ride was way too long and sitting in it left you exhausted, _unpacking can wait_ you thought.

“By the way Y/N,” Sasha popped her head inside your room. “In an hour we have to be at the school’s grand auditorium. The Uni’s president is having a sophomore welcome-back ceremony and we all have to attend.”

~

After a quick shower and changing into something nicer than a pair of sweatpants, you were walking out of the building with Sasha and Historia towards one of the auditorium buildings.

“Look, there's already some people there” Historia stated and showed you and Sasha her phone, an Instagram story up on her screen. It was a boomerang of a black haired girl, the background showed what seemed to be the auditorium, half-full, decorated with green, white and blue balloons, the Uni’s colors. 

Sasha piped in. “Oh, Mikasa uploaded that? She’s probably with Armin and the others then” 

“Armin? I think I met him at the dorm hallway. Blond and blue eyes?” You questioned.

“Yeah, that's him. We’re pretty good friends but it's usually Armin, this girl Mikasa and another guy named Eren that hang out together, since they’ve been pretty good friends since late highschool according to them.” Historia said. 

_Eren_. There was that name again. You looked down and swallowed thickly.

“Talking about Eren, did you see his story?” Sasha exclaimed to Historia.“I think he hooked up with the girl in the theater department from last week’s party.” Sasha said while shaking her head and looked at you.

“This man Eren is a sophomore like us, but he’s super popular with the girls. He tries to keep it on the low, but he’s known to hook up often with pretty girls.”

Historia laughed and added, “I mean even I have to admit, not only does he have a hot face and nice body, but he’s super smart too since he’s in the pre-medical track. I can see why girls call him ‘perfection in a man,’” 

Sasha hummed in agreement and she brought her hands up to her cheeks and sighed lovingly, a glint in her eyes. “Although he doesn’t compare to my boyfriend Niccolo. My man is beyond perfect!”

“Oh.” You said, unsure of what else to say to that information about this Eren, he seemed like the typical egotistical player who knew he was hot and used it to his advantage. Though, you couldn’t lie and be sort of impressed that he was a premed student. Getting into this University was almost impossible on its own, but getting accepted in the pre-medical track of the University was something else. 

~

Arriving at the auditorium building, you started walking up the steps with the girls, as you all talked and laughed about college gossip. 

“How about you Historia? Do you have a boyfriend?” You asked. 

“Ah.” She said and looked down, playing with a strand of hair. “I’m actually-”

“Historia!” A tall girl with short brown hair and freckles dotting her nose ran down the steps of the building towards Historia and hugged her tightly peppering her cheeks with kisses. 

“Ah! Ymir!” She giggled. “S-Stop! You’re tickling me!” The tall girl stopped and wrapped her arm around Historia’s shoulder, turning to you.

“Eh? Who’s this chick?” She said, looking at you up and down.

“This is Ymir, my girlfriend.” Historia said to you and turned to Ymir. “This is Y/N, our new roommate.”

You gave Ymir a friendly smile, “Hi.”

Ymir only rolled her eyes and snorted. “Just don’t try any funny business with my Historia and we’ll get along fine.” 

Historia laughed nervously and swatted Ymir on the arm. 

Footsteps behind you made you turn around and a man with short blond wavy tousled hair walked towards Sasha and kissed the top of her head, handing her a steamed bun. 

“I made your favorite.” He told her and she screeched in excitement, practically glowing. 

_Oh, This must be Niccolo_ you thought. After a brief introduction, and confirming your thought of this man being Sasha’s boyfriend, the group of you walked inside the building and into the auditorium, noticing it was almost full. At this point you guys were probably going to have to sit at the back.

“Guys! Over here!”

You all turned towards the voice and saw Armin in the front row waving his arms furiously, trying to catch the attention of you guys. 

“Hey, looks like Armin saved us some seats.” Said Niccolo, walking to the front, holding Sasha’s hand, and the rest of you followed behind them.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” Armin said as he noticed you and gestured to the other people sitting next to him. “Let me introduce you to the others.”

Sitting to his left were two other guys, one with short gray platinum hair, Connie, and the other with brown hair in a thick mullet style, Jean. His arm around another girl’s shoulders. You recognized her from the Insta story that Historia showed you earlier, Mikasa. They were laughing at something on her phone and they looked up at you and smiled as a greeting. 

On Armin’s right, he was holding a blond girl’s hand, her blue eyes icy and kind of unsettling as she introduced herself as Annie. You thought to yourself how weird they looked, Armin looked like such a sweet boy and Annie looked cold, Yet they complement each other nicely at the same time. 

“Thanks for the seats Armin,” said Sasha, her mouth full of bread as she sat down, and you all followed suit. 

“Yo, this shit’s about to start in like 3 minutes and Eren isn't here? Where the hell is he?” Said Ymir, as she sat down.

Jean looked up at her and nodded to the opposite side of the auditorium. “Take a wild guess where the bastard’s at.”

You all looked over to where he gestured. There was a group of girls standing to the side, you couldn't really make out the person they were all talking to since he was surrounded, only part of his long brown hair visible. The girls were all giggling and blushing. 

“Of course… nothing new.” Connie said and shrugged indifferently. 

The group all turned away and continued talking among themselves, unfazed and you looked at them a bit appalled. _I know Historia and Ymir told me about this guy Eren, but it looks like they weren’t exaggerating at all._

Suddenly the lights dimmed and a tall blond man walked across the stage. Behind him walked a woman with her brown hair tied up in a messy ponytail with squared glasses as well as a man with short black hair, his face stern and serious. The students cheered while others whistled.

When the tall blond man got to the center of the stage and reached the podium, he adjusted the mic to reach his tall stature, and the students quieted down.

“Young Graduates! Future leaders! I welcome you back to a successful fall semester for you Sophomores. I am aware we have some new transfers, so… For those of you who don’t know me. I am the President of Eldia State University, Erwin Smith. I expect you all to dedicate your time, commitment, and especially your hearts to your education and for the future of this nation! You were all chosen due to your talents and preservation, and I cannot thank you all for being part of this amazing journey!” 

Again, some students cheered and hollered, and you suppressed your urge to eye roll at the cheesy, but motivating introduction. He waited a bit before raising a hand to silence the auditorium.

“I want to reintroduce the vice president and lead scientific researcher: Hange Zoe. As well as Superior Dean: Levi Ackerman.”

The students clapped as both Hange and Levi gave a small wave. You smiled and clapped along, the hype inside the room was too contagious, and you could tell that everyone was happy and proud to be here. 

“And of course, I also invited one of our top students to come up stage and give you all some words of encouragement. His talent has definitely not been overlooked, and he has been a prime example of this University’s mission to shape you all into future leaders.”

“... Oh, don’t forget to cover your ears to this, guys.” Annie muttered, as Erwin spoke in the background, her hands already coming up to the sides of her head.

You glanced at her confused. “Huh? Why?”

“You’ll see soon enough.”

“Shh! Annie! You’re supposed to be supporting him!” Mikasa said, leaning forward to look at Annie.

“Oh please! Even you know he can be cocky at times-” 

Suddenly, Erwin’s voice cut Annie off, “Let’s all give an applause to… **Eren Jaeger**!!” 

  
  



	2. I contemplated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold text= Memories  
> Regular text= Present time
> 
> I'm thinking of updated every Friday no later than 9pm EST.   
> Enjoy!

**_“Have you decided about college?” You asked, looking up at your boyfriend. He was looking up at the night sky, the reflection of the moonlight making his eyes shimmer a warm emerald glow. It was a late spring night, the beautiful weather was in it’s peak and the breeze carried a tangy smell of blooming flowers. He was absolutely breathtaking; his plush lips, his perfect jawline and high cheekbones…_ **

**_Eren looked down at you, humming in thought. The small lazy circles he was tracing on your shoulder tickling your skin._ **

**_“I want to go where you go,” He answered. Your head was laying on his chest and you felt it vibrating from his words._ **

**_“Eren… I’m serious!” You huffed out and jokingly swatted his chest._ **

**_“I am!” He said laughing as he flicked your forehead softly._ **

**_“Mhmm…” You turned to your side and propped yourself on your elbow looking down at him. “You’re probably going to end up in a big college away from Shiganshina, so don’t lie.”_ **

**_“Well,” He said, and braced himself up, mirroring your position. His tone was more serious now and he locked eyes with you. “You know how my dad doesn’t want me studying here, so I won’t be able to apply at the community college… But, if we end up in different colleges, I still want to be with you and you know that, Y/N.” He reached up and caressed your cheek._ **

**_You looked away from him, staring at the red patterns on the blanket you two were laying on. There was a lump in your throat forming and it was hard to speak out words._ **

**_You knew that it wasn’t possible for you to go to a big college, and that it was likely that you and Eren weren’t going to be attending together. But that didn’t mean that the idea of that hurt. Maybe it was childish to think that you two were going to be side by side 24/7, but you wanted no more than to be with him nonetheless. You were both juniors in high school right now, and there was only one year left until you graduated._ **

**_“Hey…” He spoke softly, noticing your change in mood and gently grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Don’t worry baby. I’m not going to leave you despite the distance, and you know I don’t want to hurt you either. So we’re in this together.” He smiled reassuringly at you, his green eyes showing nothing but affection._ **

**_You believed that, and you smiled back at him._ **

~~~

Who knew that things would be so different now. Even through the bad breakup with him, the post depression and grim reminder of what you guys had to finally the slow recuperation of you moving on, nothing could have prepared you for this moment. 

Yet there he was, walking across the stage like he owned it. He looked so careless, as he pulled out a hair tie from his dress pants pocket and tied his long brown locks up in a messy bun, while girls in the auditorium screamed out his name. 

_ No. It can’t be Eren _ .  _ How?  _ Your mind was empty and frozen but going through so much at the same time. You tried to deny it, but when Eren replaced Erwin on the podium and nonchalantly scanned the auditorium with those striking eyes; there was no mistake that it was really him. 

“Oh, come on Y/N! Not you too! In a moment you’ll have drool coming out of your mouth!” Sasha nudged your side as she whined at you. 

“H-huh?” You didn't notice that your mouth was slightly agape from the shock, and you quickly composed yourself. “Don’t be crazy, it’s not like that”

She sighed out dramatically and rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a victim girl…” 

“Good evening everyone. I am very honored to be here and happy to start our new semester. I wish you all a successful start,” Eren spoke cooly at the microphone, and girls erupted in cheers again, while some guys hollered and whistled, but it all seemed drowned out to you, and it seemed like your heart was beating right next to your ear.

“You go man!!” “You're a real one Eren!!” 

His voice was so deep and sultry as it echoed in the auditorium and a chill ran down your spine. His voice was pretty deep in high school, but now? It was so effortlessly sensual. 

Plus, him standing there in the middle of the stage in his black slim fitted tuxedo and the soft blue hue of the stagelight shining down on him made him look like a high end model up there. It was almost ethereal looking at him and you felt a tightness in your chest as questions flooded your mind. 

He continued talking, “I will be hosting more student events for all of you like last semester and as you all know,” He suddenly looked at the first row where you were sitting, and your eyes met for a split second. You noticed, that even for that teeny tiny timeframe, his cool aura faltered a bit.  _ What?! No, No, No… Did he recognize me!?  _ You panicked.

But, just as quickly as he looked at you he looked away. 

“Ahem, As you all know… I am here for all of you for advising and extra help. Thank you!” 

The students clapped and cheered as he walked off stage, with the occasional “We love you Eren!” from what can be considered a fangirl being shouted. 

“Well… what did you think Y/N?” Historia asked, leaning forward in her seat to look at you, her small hands clapping along with the crowd.

“I-”

“Pfft! A total showoff, that's what she’s gonna say!” Jean exclaimed and Mikasa elbowed his side. “Ow! What?!”

“I don’t know Jean. She looked pretty awestruck to me.” Connie replied to him and he wagged his eyebrows at you. “Weren’t you Y/N?” 

“No! Of course not!” You defended yourself quickly. “What’s with the um, advising anyway? I thought only professors did that, is he not a student?” You asked, desperate to change the conversation of you obviously having a reaction to Eren. 

It wasn’t like you were completely starstruck, well maybe a little, but it was more like a confused shock to you. It was  _ him _ , the Eren you grew up with, the Eren you fell in love with, the Eren you dated and promised to be with forever. The Eren who broke your heart mercilessly. 

“Oh that!” Mikasa chimed in enthusiastically. “He has a perfect 4.0 GPA so he is obviously a favorite of many professors. President Erwin reached out to him and asked him to represent the student body, so Eren occasionally helps out Researcher Hange with her experiments and does tutoring sessions with students who need it.”

“Yeah, but those “tutoring” sessions turn out more like dick appointments for horny girls” Annie muttered under her breath, scrolling through her phone. 

Armin laughed nervously. “I-Im sure plenty of them are actual tutoring sessions guys, let’s not consider Eren a total fuckboy.”

Connie slumped forward and looked at him with a  _ you-know-that's-a-lie-and-you-know-it _ kind of look.

“Of course you’re gonna defend his stupid ass” Jean said, shaking his head. 

~~~ 

Erwin ended the ceremony after 30 minutes of talking about rules, expectations and more speeches on “dedicating your heart to education”, and students started getting up from their seats, flooding the exit of the auditorium, including you and your wonderful new friends.

“Annie and I are going on with Eren, there’s still some stuff needed for later so we’re gonna go help him out.” Armin said, holding Annie’s hand as they hurried off to find Eren. 

“I’ll go too!” Mikasa yelled off and ran off after them, Jean following closely behind. 

“See you guys at the party later!”

_ Party?  _ You thought. In the meantime, you all walked back to the dorm building, chatting among yourselves. When you all reached the lobby of the dorm, Connie spoke up.

“We should meet up here at 11pm so we can all go together” 

“Yeah sure,” replied Niccolo. 

Sasha looked back at you, “Y/N, you’re totally coming with us. This is going to be your first party here!”

“Tonight?” You asked.

“Yeah, Eren’s older brother Zeke is hosting at his penthouse, it’s about a 20 min drive from here.” Niccolo explained, the elevator doors opening.

“Older brother?” 

“The place is gonna be filled with grad baddies, ain’t gonna hurt to have fun a bit.” Connie said laughing as everyone finished getting inside the elevator.

“Ew Connie, you idiot, stop being a perv.” Sasha said cringing, and Ymir shook her head, making a  _ blegh _ sound as she pressed the 8 button.

“You’re a bigger idiot” He shot back at her. 

“No, you are,” She retorted. 

The group laughed as they bickered, and you stood alongside them, confused out of your mind. You looked down at the shiny elevator floor, deep in thought. This made no sense, you literally just proved that this was the Eren Jaeger you grew up with, but never ever was another child in the household, especially someone older. Everyone in town knew that Eren was an only child so where the hell did this Zeke come from? 

The elevator got to the 8th floor and you followed the group out absently.  _ Think logically _ You thought to yourself. Maybe, when Eren and his family left Shiganshina, they adopted an older brother for him? That sounded possible right?

“Hey!! Y/N! Hello?!?” 

You snapped your head up at the sound, clearly you were completely distracted. Sasha was digging through her hoodie pocket, looking for her keycard. You then noticed Historia looking at you, concerned and Ymir was waving her hand in front of your face. 

“Huh? What?” 

“Are you good? We were saying that we have to get ready, Connie and Niccolo already went to their dorms,” A small beep signaled that Sasha found her keycard and tapped it against the doorknob. She opened the door and the 4 of you went inside. 

“You’re coming right?” Historia asked, looking at you.

“Oh. I don’t know…” You answered.

“Huh? Why!? Don’t be bland! It’s gonna be great!” Sasha said, already with a snack in her hand. 

“I just don't really know anyone yet,” You said sheepishly.

“Wow, even after meeting us you don’t consider us anything?” Ymir scoffed.

“No no! It’s not like that… I’m really just tired” You lied. Well, not completely; it was true that you were fatigued from the ride, but truth be told, you knew  _ he _ was going to be there, and honestly, you weren’t sure if you wanted to see him, especially since he was in the same social group as your new friends AND roommates. Right now, it was all too much. 

When Eren broke up with you 4 years ago, you were devastated, and slowly you got over him and moved on. Or at least that's what you thought. Seeing him once again after the lack of closure made you feel so many things that you didn’t even have a word to describe your emotions right now, and you knew that if you saw him again, you wouldn’t know how to react. All you wanted to do was lie down in bed and sleep off the weariness.

“Come on Y/N!” Historia looked up at you from her small stature, her blue eyes pleading. “We promise you’ll have fun, and if you don’t feel comfortable we will come back together right away!” 

“Yeah! Lighten up a bit before the semester starts!” exclaimed Sasha.

You knew it was a bad idea, but looking at Historia’s blue doey eyes, and Sasha’s supplications, it was hard to say no. So you sighed in defeat, 

“Finee..”

“Yay!!!” Squealed Historia and grabbed your arm, pulling you slightly. “Can I do your makeup? I have this new palette with colors that I think will look amazing on you!” 

“S-sure.” You mumbled, feeling overwhelmed at the attention. Historia kept explaining the makeup she had in mind and you couldn't help but smile to yourself at how amazing these people were, maybe the least you could do was try to have fun. 

~~~~

At 11:10pm, you all went downstairs to the lobby and found Connie and Niccolo already waiting. Niccolo had dressed into an all-black dress shirt and pants combo, while Connie went for a more laid back outfit of crew neck and jeans. Niccolo went over to Sasha and pecked her lips, holding her waist, 

“You look amazing.” He told her and she giggled. 

_ How sweet _ you thought, and felt a small pain in your chest remembering how gently Eren treated you back in highschool. You quickly dismissed the thought, reminding yourself it’s childish to dwell on the past and that Eren was completely different now.  _ I mean, look at him _ ,  _ he has a whole club of admirers. _

“Oi, lovebirds. You can do that later, let’s go! Pronto!” Connie protested, snapping his fingers.

“Alright! Don’t be impatient” Niccolo muttered, and you all followed him outside. He took out a car key out of his pocket, the screen on the oval-shaped device turning on, and unlocked a BMW across the street of the dorm building. 

You sat next to Connie, and due to space, Historia sat on Ymir’s lap, but Ymir looked more than happy to have her there. You all chatted up and laughed on your way to Zeke’s penthouse, feeling comfortable with the group and you almost forgot the reason why you didn’t want to come in the first place. 

But when Niccolo parked in front of the deluxe glass building, you felt your uneasiness rise again.  _ Eren Jaeger is in there.  _

When everyone was out of the car, Niccolo gave his key to the parking valet and snaked his hand behind Sasha’s waist. 

“Well, let's go in guys” He said, leading the way. 

You took nervous steps behind them and looked at the lobby while Niccolo showed the invite to a security guard who promptly took you guys to a private elevator. 

Inside the elevator, you looked at yourself in the mirrors. Not going to lie, you looked amazing. Historia really did a great job with your makeup and even picked out a perfect outfit for you for clubbing and going out, a mini skirt and top that accented your body shape perfectly. You fidgeted as the elevator got nearer to the top, the vibrations of the music became easier to hear and feel.

The elevator slowed to a stop and made a  _ PING _ sound as the doors opened and you immediately gasped. The place was soaring with energy, people were crowded everywhere. You stepped out with the gang and couldn't help but gawk at your surroundings. In the left back corner there was a bar with some people sitting at the stools, 2 bartenders making drinks end on end. The middle was the dance floor and to the right back corner a DJ playing bass-boosted music, and lights were flashing everywhere. There was also a hallway leading to what most likely was the bedrooms. The place was elegant and filled with black accents, giving it a dark lavish mood. The ceiling-to-floor glass windows gave a spectacular view to the city and the balcony stretched out towards the other skyscrapers surrounding this one. 

“Heh, not bad…” Ymir yelled over the music.

“Of course! They’re the Jaegers! I wouldn’t expect anything less!” Connie yelled back.

“Guys! You made it right on time!” 

You all turned towards the voice and saw Jean striding towards you all, a martini in his right hand and his left arm holding Mikasa’s waist. She looked stunning, wearing a black mini dress that hugged her toned body nicely. 

“Let’s go get you guys some drinks.” She proposed. 

“Hell yea!” Connie shouted and they led you to the bar. 

You couldn’t help but look around the giant place for a certain someone with long brown hair. You couldn’t resist. You knew he was here, it was obvious, and although you didn't want to see him, you couldn't stop yourself from looking for him even if you tried. 

You didn't see him anyway, which disappointed you much to your surprise and turned your attention back to your friends. When you all got to the bar you saw that Annie and Armin were sitting there, drinking some margaritas. 

“Oh hey!” Armin grinned, and he turned to you. “Oh Y/N! You came as well! I'm glad! You look great!”

You felt yourself flush at the compliment and thanked him. 

“The energy is bussin!” Connie said, as he ordered some shots for all of you.

All of you laughed at his comment and talked among yourselves while waiting for your drinks. 

When the shots arrived, you all drowned it down, Connie and Sasha yelling out a Hell yea! You couldn't help but laugh, they were so lively, their energy was contagious and you were glad these were your new friends. Niccolo suddenly grabbed Sasha’s arm and motioned to the dance floor,

“Let’s dance guys!” 

You all went to the dance floor as music rang in your ears. Maybe you didn’t have to worry about Eren, as long as these people were here by your side, and anyway, Eren didn’t seem to hang out with Armin or Mikasa as much as they made it seem. You hollered at Ymir and Historia as they danced to hype them up. 

Suddenly, when Ymir swirled Historia, you saw him. He was behind Ymir, and he was also dancing, drink in his hand, a girl grinding on him as a group of people hyped them up, the loudest was a guy with auburn hair. You felt your energy dissipate and your hands grow cold. 

You weren’t sure what it was, maybe the fact that you saw him dancing explicitly like that or maybe you were a bit jealous.  _ Wha-? Jealous? _ You argued with yourself.  _ Of that? Of the man that he has become? _

Being honest with yourself, you were happy in a way when you first saw him upstage at the Sophomore ceremony earlier. It was like seeing someone alive after you thought they were dead. But then it changed to sourness; realizing that the person you were so close with has changed. This wasn’t the sweet caring Eren. This was Eren who hooked up with girls, a total fuckboy, and you should have realized that when he broke up with you 4 years ago. 

You must have been staring for too long because he suddenly looked up from the grinding girl and met your eyes. You froze, like a deer caught in headlights, but you couldn’t seem to look away, his green eyes studying you. Then, he did the unthinkable, he  _ smirked _ at you and you looked away dumbfounded. 

_ Damnit! I’m so stupid _ .  _ He definitely realized it was me and he had the guts to fucking smirk and mock me. _

You groaned inwardly and started to walk away from the group towards the bar. 

“Hey! What’s wrong Y/N!” yelled Annie over the music. 

You turned towards her, still walking away, “Nothing! Just getting a drink!”

You sat back down at the stool and sighed out shakily.  _ How dare him. _ You balled out your fists in anger.  _ After breaking my heart like that… He still considers me a joke after all these years huh…  _

Suddenly the bartender slipped a margarita in front of you and you looked up questioningly. 

“The man over there sends you this” The bartender pointed to the other end of the bar. 

You glanced to where he pointed and a broad shouldered blond man with light stubble lining his jaw smiled at you, raising his own glass. 

You gave him a stiff smile and looked back down awkwardly at the drink, not sure whether to drink it. You decided to take your phone out, pretending to browse your IG. After a moment you saw a pair of legs sit down next to you, but pretended not to see, not tearing your eyes off your phone screen. 

“Hey, I couldn’t help but notice your beauty. You mind if I sit here?”

You peered up from your phone and saw that it was Mr. Blonde in front of you. In the corner of your eye you saw Eren looking at you.  _ That manwhore _ you thought.  _ Ah fuck it _ . You smiled at Blondie, “I don’t mind.”

“I’m Reiner.” He said, winking. “I’ve never seen you around before, what’s your name.”

“Y/N. I’m new actually.”

“Oh, really? Great choice you made, considering I got to meet a goddess like you,” You noticed him starting to inch his hand towards yours, and you pulled it back slightly.  _ Okay, I get it, he’s hitting on me but I’m not going to let him touch me! _

He noticed you pulling back and made the big move to place his hand completely on top of yours.  _ Ew what?  _ You pulled your hand back completely. 

“Thanks, but I don’t appreciate you touching me,  _ Reiner _ .”

“Oh come on, it was a harmless gesture, no need to get feisty-” He began to raise his hand again but out of nowhere a hand came and grabbed hold of his arm. 

“Stop molesting her Reiner.”

Reiner tensed up and looked up annoyingly at the person grabbing him.

You did too, and your heart picked up it’s pace as your eyes widened. 

Standing in front of you, a pair of green eyes glared at Reiner. 

_ Eren…  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I enjoy your comments and feedback!


	3. I resented

“Stop molesting her Reiner.”

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. All you could do is direct your eyes from Reiner’s annoyed face to Eren’s piercing gaze towards Reiner. The booming music in the background and colorful lights bouncing around the complex were starting to make you feel dizzy and it felt as if the moment was stuck in time.  _ How can this be happening? _

You haven’t even been here for more than 24 hours and it seems like it's already spiraling down to hell. The last thing you wanted is for some sort of fight to arise which will only gain the attention of everyone and will end up in embarrassment.

Reiner yanked his hand free from Eren’s grip and scowled at him,

“Just because you and your family own this place you think you can act cocky and tell your guests how to act now Eren?” 

“I can, and so what?”

Reiner stood up from his stool, he was a tad bit taller than Eren, and you noticed his fist tightly clenched, “I’m sick of you Jaegers thinking you own everything.”

“Jealous now are we?” Eren smirked. 

Reiner scowled and suddenly raised his arms, shoving Eren backwards. 

_ Oh shit!  _ You flinched at the sudden movement and stood up from your stool, unsure of whether to yell at them, holler for help or simply walk away. 

Eren stumbled back only a bit, caught off guard before catching his balance.

“Oh Reiner… You want to go there huh,” he coaxed cockily, his head hanging low as he straightened up and took a step forward defensively, raising his face to meet Reiner in the eye. 

Other people sitting at the bar stopped what they were doing and turned around, sensing the movement. Others at the edge of the dancefloor also stopped dancing, ogling the scene. From the corner of your eye you saw one of the bartenders say something to the other, and he took off somewhere. 

Suddenly the red haired man from earlier popped up from the dancefloor, pushing people aside. He gave you a side glance of pure contempt as if seeing an insignificant bug before placing his hand on Eren’s shoulder.

“What’s going on, bro?”

“Stay out of this, Floch.” Eren uttered without looking at him, staring Reiner down.

_ This is so dumb and immature! Picking a fight over something useless! _ You finally got the courage to open your mouth, about to tell them both to fuck off, but you felt a soft hand grab a hold of your arm and you looked back. It was Historia, looking nervously between you and at the unfolding scene in front of her. Ymir was behind her, worry written on her face, you surprisingly found that expression kind of funny on her normally stern face. 

“Y/N! W-we need to use the restroom, can you come with us?”

You looked down at her confused at the randomness of her question, but then you saw Armin and Mikasa hurrying towards Eren so you decided that they might be able to handle to break Eren and Reiner up before some stupid brawl happened. 

You nodded at Historia and let her lead you away, taking one last glimpse behind you at Eren, but he wasn’t looking at you, and that’s when you noticed that he didn’t glance at you even once during that whole confrontation, so you turned back forward and walked to the small hallway with Historia and Ymir. 

“Y/N!” Historia cried out, hugging you. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry we left you like that, this is all our fault, you’re new and we should have never let you be by yourself. I’m so sorry!” She let go of you and peered up at you apologetically. 

“It’s okay, you guys don’t have to babysit me, it was my fault for walking away, and I’m fine anyway,” You reassured, and her troubled expression relaxed.

“You’re quite a trouble maker huh,” Ymir declared, rolling her eyes, her arms crossed across her chest. “What happened anyway?”

You sighed out and explained, “This guy Reiner tried to make physical contact with me after flirting, so I told him to back off and that’s when Eren suddenly appeared.” 

As soon as the words left your mouth you realized something that angered you, which you didn’t feel before from the shock of what happened. 

_ Why did he even care? You had your own voice to tell Reiner to leave you alone, and he just comes out of nowhere after smirking at you on the dance floor? Who did he think he was? Was this his way of insinuating you need protecting and you can’t deal on your own? How shameless. He- _

“Well at least you’re okay” Historia interrupted your thoughts and she tiptoed, craning her neck to look across the dancefloor. “It looks like Reiner left.” She let out a sigh, “Phew, thank goodness for Mikasa and Armin. If it weren’t for them I’m sure a full on fight would have escalated…” 

“Yeah, but anyway, let’s go back.” Ymir added, already walking back to the bar. “The least we can do is thank Eren for saving you.”

_ Saving me? Thank him? As if!  _ You gazed annoyingly towards the bar, and noticed that the rest of the gang was there. Eren was looking smug, with another drink in his hand while talking to Mikasa and Armin. 

You decided against that idea. “Actually guys,” you blurted out and Ymir and Historia looked back at you, “I think I need some fresh air.” Right now, you couldn’t be near Eren, after all that humiliation, first taunting you at the dancefloor and then “saving” you as if you were some sort of damsel in distress. 

“Okay, let’s go to the balcony then. I could also use a breather from this packed place” Ymir agreed, fanning herself. 

The three of you pushed through the crowd to reach the balcony, but suddenly a giggling drunk couple passed by and stumbled, pushing you to the side, 

“Ow!” you cried out, as you tried to balance yourself but ended up accidentally bumping into a hard muscular chest, and you closed your eyes slightly from the impact. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” you fumbled. You opened your eyes and noticed that the person was holding a now-empty drink that spilled over his light blue dress shirt, the pink liquid expanding over the lux cotton. _Great!_ _Can I please go through at least 10 minutes of not igniting anything?_

Ymir and Historia paled and froze in their tracks.You felt your face heat up from embarrassment and looked up at the person you bumped into.

He was a tall pale blond man with a full mustache beard and circular glasses, he looked like he was in his late twenties, you calculated around 28. He was looking down at his stained shirt with a neutral expression on his face, you couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. 

“Oh,” He said absently, his gray-blue eyes indifferent. 

"I'm so sorry! I'll pay for a new shirt! I-"

“You should watch where you’re going kid.” A deep, but oddly feminine voice interrupted. Next to the man was another blonde person with a bowl cut, holding his arm. Your eyes widened, taking in the huge appearance of the person next to him. They had to be at least 6’5! You gawked at the person, gulping unconsciously and they raised their eyebrow, noticing your discomfort.

“Now, Yelena, I’m sure it was an accident,” The man said, his voice was deep, and had a slight mocking tone to it. You watched him as he took a handkerchief out of his pocket and patted his very expensive looking shirt, then looked up at you through his circular frames questioningly. “Am I right?”

“Y-yes sir. I apologize!” 

He cocked his head and suddenly started laughing. You stood there dumbfounded, not sure whether this was a good sign or not. Suddenly he reached up and patted your head.  _ Wha-?  _

“Don’t be so formal, you’re making me sound old!” He turned around to the tall woman, Yelena, “Let’s go, I still have to find Eren. I heard there was a small commotion inside.” 

You stood there for a second, your heart beating hard in your chest. Historia came up to you and tapped your arm.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Y-yeah…” You breathed out shakily. Not going to lie, that experience had you scared as fuck, and you shivered as you imagined Yelena. She looked like she could have knocked you out with a single stare, but you shook your head to clear the thought and continued walking, following next to Ymir and Historia.

When you finally reached the end balcony you took a deep inhale, breathing in the fresh air- well, if it could even be called fresh air. There were some people mingling on the balcony, some sitting on the white lounge chairs, some were smoking weed or cigarettes, but overall it wasn’t as crowded as it was inside. You gasped as you noticed that there was an infinity pool on the right edge of the balcony, a warm white color shining from it due to the inground lighting in it.  _ This place must be worth thousands! _ Some people were actually inside the pool, although it was mostly couples making out and you cringed as you thought about how nasty that pool water must be right now. 

You slightly leaned your back against the thick glass of the railing, in this position you were able to see inside the penthouse and part of the bar. You saw your group of friends still there, talking and laughing, the previous tension completely gone and you felt a bit guilty for making them go through an awkward situation. 

You turned around, crossing your arms over the railing and resting your weight on it and looked out towards the twinkling lights of the city. 

Sure, it was a bit childish of you to try to avoid Eren, sooner or later you’re going to have to exchange words with him or else everyone will find something weird between the two of you. But what would you even say to him? Did he actually remember who you were, or was his reaction just a random thing? You looked down at the tiny moving cars under you and wondered if Eren ever talked about you, at least to Mikasa and Armin since they seemed closer. The answer was more than likely a definite no, or else at least they would have had a sort of reaction to meeting you or something on the lines of, “Oh, you’re Eren’s childhood friend that he told us about? Nice to meet you!” You laughed humorlessly in your mind, squinting your eyes bitterly.  _ Why would he? He made it clear that he wanted nothing with me after the breakup. _

Staring down to the street was starting to trigger your acrophobia and starting to make you feel dizzy so you turned back around. 

“Feeling better? So we can go back inside.” Ymir spoke up next to you, pointing towards the bar.

“Yeah, thanks for waiting for me” 

You pushed yourself off from the railing and followed behind them into the penthouse. As you got closer, you noticed everyone there except Eren. 

“Y/N!” Sasha cried out. “Are you okay? We are so sorry!” She signaled at everyone, indicating that everyone felt apologetic, and you looked at them, all of them looking sorry. 

You waved your hand, dismissing her apology, “Don’t worry about it guys. I’m fine.” You gave everyone a reassuring smile to prove your point and they all collectively let out a breath of relaxed air.

“I’m glad!” Sasha exclaimed. “Anyway, Niccolo and I are going to get some snacks! We’ll be right back!” She turned around and dragged Niccolo with her to the food banquet. 

“Where’s Eren? We wanted to say thanks for helping Y/N out.” Historia asked, looking around.

“He left with Floch a few minutes ago. When he heard that Zeke was looking for him, he dipped.” Connie answered, sipping his drink. 

“Oh yeah, we kinda… ran into him when we took some fresh air at the balcony.” Ymir shared, sitting down at a stool and motioning Historia to sit on her lap.

The previous scene played in your head, the one where you bumped with the blond man in glasses, recalling what he mentioned to Yelena,  **“Let’s go, I still have to find Eren.”**

You felt your heart drop as you connected the dots. _Was that person… Zeke?_ You mentally slapped yourself upon the realization, _Damnit! Out of all people I just had to spill the drink on_ _Eren’s so called brother._ Even worse, you remembered Niccolo saying that this extravagant place was Zeke’s. How did you even manage to get yourself in these situations? You sat down on a stool, and the bartender brought you a Sazerac. You looked up and recognized him as the one who took off earlier. _This guy was probably the one who went to call Zeke._ You thought grudgingly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know why Eren always avoids Zeke, it looks like he only wants to be a good caring big brother to him.” Connie spoke up absently, holding his now half empty martini glass by the stem, moving his wrist in circular motions so that the toothpick swished around the glass, the olive stuck on it gliding nicely against the rim. You stared at it, processing what he said. It was obvious that Eren didn’t really like Zeke, but Zeke felt the complete opposite. Just what the hell happened after Eren left Shiganshina?

“That’s exactly what I tell him!” Armin agreed, and he slumped a bit in his seat and muttered out “Although he never listens to me.” You saw Annie squeeze his hand for comfort. 

“Eh, you know how stubborn Jaeger can be. The idiot never listens to reason.” Jean boasted, drowning his drink in one quick gulp.

_ I wonder why Jean always has a negative connotation whenever he talks about Eren. Maybe something happened between them? _

Mikasa glared at him slightly in response and retorted, “Stop it Jean, I’m sure Eren has his reason for his strained relationship with Zeke. We can’t judge him without context.” 

“Wait, you don’t know why Eren doesn’t get along with Zeke?” You interjected loudly. 

Mikasa looked at you a tad surprised at your slight outburst and you didn’t fail to notice Ymir raise her eyebrow in suspicion at your sudden interest.

“I mean, I’m just curious to know.” you quickly added, hopefully no one got the wrong idea and they took it as a simple question out of gossip or something. 

“Well, no… not exactly.” Mikasa lamented, looking down at her thighs.

You noticed her slight change in mood. It was clear that she didn’t want to talk about it and you wondered if it was okay to pry a bit more.

“Guys! Stop sulking! This is a party! Let’s have some fun!” Sasha screamed out, and you all turned your heads, as she ran to you guys, back from her food hunt, holding plates of treats. 

_ Well, I guess this means I’ll have to ask Mikasa privately later.  _

The mood lightened and you all enjoyed the rest of the night, and fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, you weren’t sure what you were feeling, you didn't see Eren for the rest of the night. 

~~~~

**“So... what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” You asked Eren, your voice barely louder than a whisper. Aside from the chilly air you felt unnervingly cold, and you clutched on your jacket, enclosing it closer to your body.**

**You stared at the back of his head as he stood in front of you, his brown locks reached just below his ear as he was growing out his hair. The breath of the wind was blowing it slightly, and it reminded you of the time you met him for the first time.**

**Except this time was different. You felt a certain tension in the air and you picked at your nails. Things with Eren were starting to feel… rigid. Everything was fine before. You’ve been together for 5 years and all of a sudden, in the past 2 months he started to become restless, and you noticed that he didn’t hug or kiss you as much as before. When this pattern first started happening, you told this to Eren, and tried to comfort him about it, asking him what’s wrong and that you’re there for him, but he would simply shrug it off as nothing. Now though, he was starting to become colder towards you. You would want to hug him and he would simply push you away, sometimes calling you “annoying” or tell you to “let him breathe.” At other times, when you talked to him, you would notice him staring off to the distance and ignoring you, or would scroll through his phone instead.**

**Yeah, it hurt really bad, to see him slowly lose interest in you, but you still stayed with him and fought to be there with him, hoping that maybe one day he will go back to being the way he used to be.** **_Maybe it’s just stress._ ** **Was your excuse to try to explain his weird behavior.**

**Now, standing there, his back to you, you realized that he really changed. He was no longer that happy boy that would pick you up at your house for late night hangouts, or to drop off food because you were busy studying for a test and haven’t eaten.**

**“Y/N…” He huffed out, finally turning around to face you. His dark mossy green eyes contrasting from it’s previously bright lively look stared right at you.**

**“Y-yeah..?” You squeaked out. A nauseating feeling starting to form at the base of your stomach.** **_Why do I have a horrible feeling about this…?_ **

**“I want to break up.”**

**You stared at him, feeling like your soul was sucked out of your body, a painful lump forming in your chest.** **_Did I… hear that right?_ **

**“H-huh?” You managed to choke out.**

**“This isn’t going to work Y/N.” He said nonchalantly, his face didn’t show pain nor amusement, his face lacking any emotion.**

**“W-wait. Eren.” You took a shaky step towards him. “Why…? I.. Is there something wrong? You can talk to me, you know!” You felt your vision get blurry, but you forced yourself not to cry, and tried to swallow that lump in your throat.**

**“No, there’s really nothing you can do. I simply do not want to be with you anymore.”**

**“I don’t get it Eren! I-”**

**“There's nothing to get!” He suddenly yelled at you, and he lowered his head, his hair falling in front of his face.**

**Your hands were now shaking, and you felt your knees starting to feel weak, threatening to collapse under you, but you forced yourself upright.**

**“Eren… I don’t know what’s been going on with you lately. You’ve changed so much.. But that doesn’t stop me from loving you! I want to help you! Plea-”**

**“I never loved you!”**

**You froze, the harsh words that he spat out of his mouth lingering in the air. You felt as if someone just ripped a hole through your heart as you replayed the memories you had with him.**

**The times when you both sneaked out in the middle of the night for some In-N-Out, laughing hysterically in his car that you managed not to get caught. When he would go with you shopping and tell you how beautiful you looked after coming out of the dressing room. When you both laid on that soft red blanket at the roof of his house gazing at the stars talking about conspiracy theories…**

**“...That’s… That’s not true…” You denied, taking a step towards him. You don’t know how you were even able to still be standing on your two feet, with that punch of a confession.** **_He has to be lying_ ** **.** **_He has to!_ **

**He looked up at you, a sudden resolve in his green eyes and a hint of… sadness? Regret? Anger? You weren’t able to tell.**

**“Stop.” he snapped.**

**You froze in your tracks.**

**“It’s true Y/N.” He took 2 steps towards you so that he was standing right in front of you, glowering down at you. He was starting his growth spurt, no longer 5’7 but 5’10, so he looked way taller than you.**

**“You were just too easy.”**

**You paled, eyes widening at his revelation.**

**“You were the only one who was nice enough to be my friend, so I thought, why not date you? It was okay being with you at first, but now, I’m bored of you. You were always so bland and I just can’t take it anymore. I mean, I got to kiss you, touch you and all, but what else is left? I don’t really need you anymor-”**

**You slapped him. Hard. Even you were surprised at your action, but when you felt the palm of your hand making contact with his cheek, you realized that your instinct was better than your judgement.**

**“How fucking dare you say that to me!” You screamed at him, hot tears now pouring from your eyes, tasting the bitter saltiness as they entered your mouth from the corner of your lips. “Was everything a damn lie? Everything?!”**

**He looked back at you, his cheek raging a crimson mark from your slap. “Yes.”**

**You took in a shaky breath, clenching your fist so tight that your nails created red crescent shaped dents on your palm.**

**“I fucking hate you! I did so much for you! Tolerated you in these past few months!” You seethed. “You manipulative liar!”**

**You saw him flinch slightly, but to you right now, it was all a dirty blur.**

**“Get out of my face Eren! I don’t ever want to see you again!”**

**You turned around and stomped back home, anger, pain, and despair enveloping you, unable to comprehend why the person you cared about the most could do something like this.**

**For the next few days you stayed at home, mostly sobbing. Eren never came to visit you.**

**Three days later, a neighbor stopped by, and when you were going to the bathroom from your room, you overheard them saying that the Jaegers suddenly left Shiganshina. No one really knew where they went to, but it surprised the neighborhood that they left so abruptly.**

**You leaned against the wall of the hallway, an empty feeling inside of you as you listened. That argument was the last time you exchanged words with him, and would be the last time you saw him.**

**Until now.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got that backstory between Y/N and Eren.   
> I enjoy reading your comments! Thank you all for motivating me!

**Author's Note:**

> I would appreciate comments+feedback! Can be anything like grammar, spelling, anything I just want to become a better writer lol.


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